With three weeks down in marathon training, I am starting to find my groove. I am realizing just how much I missed the routine and structure of a training plan. I begin to crave the discipline and rigidness when I haven’t had it for awhile. Running is basically the only area of my life in which I have a Type A personality, and that Type A side of me is loving this. I get to check off the boxes and plan out my life one run at a time.
I have never been a morning person by nature but over time, I have learned to adapt in order to run with my super-chipper-morning-people friends. It has taken a long time, but I can officially say that I prefer morning running these days. I don’t run as fast at that hour and it’s much harder to knock out any type of speedwork, but it is far more enjoyable. That feeling of hitting 10,000 steps before the rest of the world has even woken up is like the ultimate accomplishment.
This past weekend, I set my alarm for 4:35 am for my 15 mile run. Insane, I know. My former self would scoff at the thought of being awake at that ungodly hour. Surprisingly, I popped right out of bed, ready to run. I enjoyed a cup of coffee, rolled my calves on my lacrosse ball, got dressed and Sheri picked me up. We headed down to La Jolla to meet up with some other friends who started their run at 5 a.m. I don’t think I’m quite at that level of crazy just yet, but I am contemplating it. I might be down…. eventually.
Here is what this past week looked like:
Tuesday: 6.15 miles
Wednesday: 5 miles
Thursday: 6 miles (4 mile repeats @ 6:14 pace)
Friday: Beach walk with Brittany
Saturday: 15 miles (8:23 average)
Sunday: 4.35 miles
Total Running Mileage: 36.5
I definitely need to get some pilates, yoga or cross training in there. Yikes! There is always something to improve upon.
Emotionally, I am exhausted. There has been so much sadness in the lives of people close to me and it hurts my heart. You know how it is when other people’s pain becomes your pain. I am trying to be there for everyone but sometimes I feel like I am just failing everyone and helping no one. I never know the right thing to say and I don’t know when to step in and when to give space. I only hope that my judgement calls have been ok lately.
The silver lining to sadness and heartache is that it makes you incredibly grateful for the goodness in your life. I have been saying extra rounds of thanks lately. I genuinely love my life (sometimes I actually wonder if my level of excitement for life is abnormal) but when tragedy strikes, I become fearful I could lose it all at any second. And the truth is, I can. Life is uncertain.
Rather than live in fear of tragedy striking, I will just focus on the good. I will forever try to find beauty in the small things and joy in the strangest places. I’ll continue to get excited about every day, every run and every freaking meal. And I will do my absolute best to be the kind of friend I would need in a hard situation. I’m a work in progress.